Finding MY Beauty

What a wonderful life I have been given. So many opportunities have come my way and I am truly grateful. I was recently interviewed by my beautiful friend Kayti who is the lovely and inspiring woman behind The Be{you}ty Bureau! As I answered each question I tried to not think about it too much and just speak from my heart. Say the words that came to my head. Its not easy for me to do because I am SUPER shy. I don't look at myself and see beauty. I don't contemplate my goodness or my good qualities. I'm usually pretty hard on myself. Doing this interview for this AMAZING series has made me see myself in a different light and that its OKAY to look at myself and see beauty and my goodness.

Thank you again Kayti!

Go to this link for the video: http://youtu.be/RkjWbkm8dFs
Go to this link for a bit of my story I shared on Small Fry Blog: http://www.smallfryblog.com/2014/05/25/an-adoption-story-jessica-swenson/


CLOSED g i v e a w a y || gold pin dot big bow dress

i am just feeling so grateful for everyone right now. i recently shared a very personal, private, sad, triumphant and happy part of my life over on Small Fry. i was so nervous. it took me 49 minutes to actually send the email and i literally almost passed out once i did. there was no going back now so i definitely cried really hard until i gave myself a headache. i pulled out my phone at least a dozen times to call them, text them, beg them to not open the email. i guess you could say fear in all forms took over and was really freaking me out.

i tried to forget about it. then they each replied and the things they said made me cry (happy and grateful tears) and gave me courage, strength and helped me remember why i sent it in the first place. it definitely was not for the attention. it took me over 20 years to even accept some of the things i wrote down let alone have any desire to share them with someone...even my husband. it wasn't because i wanted to tell people bad things happened to me and then have everyone feel sorry for me. it was 100% to share the true miracle of adoption. i shared those things with the hope of spreading...well...HOPE. hope in overcoming the bad. hope in adoption.

i have had some horrible things happen to me. more than what i shared in that post but through the miracle of adoption and through pure will power (it was my choice) i have broken the cycle of addiction and sadness. i have a wonderful life filled with joy and many imperfections but all in all still happy. 

okay, this isn't where i was planning for this blog post to go...haha! but here we are. and all i wanted to say was thank you. thank you for the kind words, the texts, the phone calls, hugs, well wishes and even the purchases made from my shop! T H A N K  Y O U!!!

I am a gift giver, its my love language. So here is a giveaway for you! Love you all so much!



What To Expect

So, remember how I said I was going to be better at blogging. BAHAHAHAAAA! Oh man. I have been so focused on my businesses that I simply haven't been able to fit blogging into my schedule. I would love to say that that will change but...I'm afraid I cannot make such promises at this time. 

I can however send you over to a really great website: What to Expect so that you can read a little blog post I wrote about going from one kid to two. Check it out, tell me what you think!


I'm back!

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Okay, So I am really bad at blogging these days. I miss it though. I have been thinking about it a lot and I think its time to get back into it. YAY! I am putting together a post on my favorite things (handmade of course) and am hoping to do a giveaway! Holla'!

Well, my cute babe of 3.5 months is wailing my name. :D (I can't believe its been three months since I last blogged. Sheesh!)


A Birth Story

Philip's birth story is pretty simple. Simple and absolutely perfect. 

Mick and I weren't planning on getting pregnant until AFTER Kenny turned two but this last summer we both felt like it was time to add to our family. So we started trying and within just a few short weeks we had a positive pregnancy test. After months of severe morning sickness, weight loss and then too much weight gain, new stretch marks, and all sorts of aches and pains I finally made it to full term! Now we just had to wait out the last few weeks until we got to meet our little boy!

I kind of fibbed to my doctor and told him my last period was a few days before it actually was hoping for an  even earlier induction date (Don't judge! My first baby was a hefty 9 pounds 3 ounces). According to Doctor's calculations, he gave me the due date of April 21st and the induction date of April 17th (My actual due date should have been April 24th). 

I started having contractions irregularly Wednesday (April 10th). They eased up Thursday. Then Friday morning they got pretty intense and painful. I called Mick who was at work to make sure he didn't have any important meetings "just in case". I finished up my to-do list and enjoyed some play time out side with my Kenny. I wanted to make sure he had an extra good day because I knew those were the last few days it would be just us. I went to my doctor's appointment and he informed me that I was dilated to a 4 and probably wouldn't make it to my induction date. I called my mom and let her know and she and my dad packed up and began the long drive from Washington state to Utah. I pretty much have the best parents EVER!
We made plans to stay the night with Mick's parents just in case we needed to head to the hospital. We had dinner with them and I was able to rest for about an hour or so before my in-laws made us head to the hospital. My contractions were getting more and more frequent and little more painful. I was pretty skeptical  that it was true labor but to be honest...I had no idea. And looking back I am pretty sure I was in denial at that point. With Kenny I didn't really have any signs of labor. I just went to the hospital and they induced labor for me. This time my body decided to do it all on its own and that actually made me really nervous/scared. The moment Mick and I stepped outside of his parents house to head to the hospital I started crying because it was so different and I didn't really know what was going on. It was like I was having a baby for the first time.

We got to the hospital just after 9:15 p.m. They had to make sure I wasn't having false labor before they admitted me because they were so full and didn't have very many rooms left on the delivery floor. By 10: 30 it was decided that I was progressing and in true labor. They checked into a room and got me all prepped to deliver.
They hooked me up to the I.V. OW! I hate that thing. Then they called in the anesthesiologist to give me the epidural. With Kenny I was pretty desperate to get it so it wasn't so bad. This time it was pretty awful. It felt like some one kicked me in the back really really hard and then sat on my legs. I hated it. They then broke my water. The doctor and nurses were making fun of me because they could actually hear the water gush out...and it kept gushing. Whatever. So I have a lot of amniotic fluid! Haha!

By about midnight contractions were getting worse. My back hurt. My uterus hurt. What was going on?! Apparently when labor progresses fast the epidural doesn't have time to fully set in. By 1 a.m. I was in so much pain that I called my nurse to make sure everything was okay. She had just finished checking me at midnight thirty and I was almost dilated to a nine. When I called her in at 1 a.m. I was fully dilated and effaced so she called the doctor and told me to NOT push. So mean. Doctor got there at about 1: 30 and they got everything ready. He told me to start pushing at about 1:40. I pushed twice before a contraction began. Then at 1:45 I pushed again and at 1:47 a.m. baby Philip climbed out. Mick said his head came out and then his hand/arm which made it look like he was climbing out of my body. HAHAHA! When Doctor saw Philip's head he said "Oh he wont be as big as Kenny". Then he came all the way out and he was like "WHOA, he is chubby!". Um...
We decided to name him Philip John Swenson (after my grandpa Phil and Mick's grandpa John). He was TEN POUNDS AND 10 OUNCES! Sheesh! 21 inches long and absolutely perfect!
So far my favorite thing has been watching Kenny with his baby Philip. We are so pleased and happy and surprised at how much he truly loves this new baby. He often stops to give him kisses and is always saying "Awww! Baby Philip so cute!"
Mick's brother and his wife also had their baby boy the same day. Twin cousins!
This pregnancy and labor was so so different from my first. It was harder. A little scarier. But in the end it was again an absolutely perfect delivery. Its been just over two weeks and the love we all have for baby Philip is overwhelming! He is such a good baby. He sleeps well. He eats well. He poops a lot. He smiles. He coos. He is growing like a weed!